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2011/01/04
人生さまざま 中学校の同窓会にて
昨晩は、中学校の同窓会に10年ぶりに出席しました。
私もちょうど40。一度行ったのは、30のころだったと思います。
それから10年の月日が流れました。
僕の中学校は、福岡の田舎にありましたが、田舎は田舎ならではの
親身さというのか、10年ぶりに会っても、「あ~すーちゃん久しぶり~
どげんしよった~?」みたいな流れで会話がすぐ成立してしまう。
(私の中学校の時のあだなは、「すーちゃん」です。)
その昔、10代の僕は、この田舎の体質というか習性というのか
すごく反発感があって、人というか友達は嫌いでなかったけど
その狭い世界での習性が嫌いで、早くここから出ていきたい、という思いが
ありました。(実際出て行きましたが)
あれから、25年の月日が経ちます。みんな、お父さん、お母さんになっていて
もう子供が中学生だ、高校生だ、と言っている状況だけれども、
接している時は、あの頃のまま。環境や状況は刻々と変わっているし、
身近な友人もようやく結婚して、人生さまざま、で、
何か良い意味での諦めというか、何かが腑に落ちる、おなかの奥にしんみりとじわりと何かが
落ちていく、これでいいのだ、という思いを感じました。
そして僕の中でも、ある種の決意、というか、こうしようと、と思うことがあって
それに突き進もうと決心しました。
うまく言えませんが、簡単にいえば、感傷的になったんですね(笑)
人生は有限です。今生は、といういい方がいいのがわかりませんが
これを選んだのだ、ということを確認したような気がします。
感傷的すぎかな(笑)
でも、こんな気持ちになりませんか?
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